Monthly Archive: June 2015

Thursday

25

June 2015

0

COMMENTS

Charleston

Written by , Posted in Culture, Politics, Race, Religion

 

Last week the country was rocked by the actions of a cowardly killer in Charleston, South Carolina. Dylann Roof, a domestic terrorist, walked into a Wednesday night Bible study at one of the most historically significant African American churches in the South and, after sitting for an hour with the congregation that welcomed him with open arms, decided to shoot and kill nine innocent victims. In the time since last week’s tragedy, we’ve seen a lot of attention paid to issues of race–from calls to remove the Confederate flag from state grounds to the president’s use of the word “nigger” while describing modern manifestations of racism to frank discussions about forgiveness and faith. Here are a few of my thoughts:

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Thursday

18

June 2015

0

COMMENTS

#TBT – Lessons From My Father

Written by , Posted in Relationships

Based on a Black and Married with Kids (BMWK) article from 2010.

African American father helping son with homework

 

June was a good month for my father. Both of his children were home for Father’s Day and he celebrated a birthday shortly thereafter. While our relationship has had its fair share of mountains and valleys, my father has taught me many life lessons that have had a lasting impact on me as I have matured. While applicable to many different types of relationships, I hope to remember these nuggets of wisdom if I am fortunate enough to become a father.

1. Play D

As a young man, I often wished I had some of the freedoms of my peers. I wasn’t allowed to go to parties or many other social events like other kids in high school. My father also made sure that I contributed more to the household than consuming food and electricity. At that time, I didn’t enjoy living in a strict and structured household but I have come to appreciate the discipline he instilled in me as I’ve matured. The Bible says that a father disciplines a child that he loves, whereas an unloved, unclaimed child is allowed to do whatever he/she pleases. Ultimately, when children don’t feel loved at home they search for love in other places, often with negative consequences.

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Thursday

18

June 2015

0

COMMENTS

Is Change Always Progress?

Written by , Posted in Culture, Politics, Relationships

Love, marriage, then baby carriage? Not for some millennials.

Millennial Families1_custom-2eb3fa527729e50b1c9a0f9005bf7eced05526de-s4-c85

 

It’s no surprise that more millennials are forgoing marriage but the logic behind the decision by many couples to have kids before marriage is quite…interesting. It’s hard to  trying to understand how a couple that feels it is financially unprepared for marriage could think it has the capacity to support a child. And to be clear, a couple, and that term should be applied loosely to some relationships, that is having sex but not taking steps to prevent pregnancy can’t claim that a baby is “unplanned”. That’s not the way it works. If you’re not preventing pregnancy, you’re inviting it.

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Monday

15

June 2015

0

COMMENTS

Do Dads Still Matter?

Written by , Posted in Culture, Politics

This week we’ll be exploring the role and importance of dads, particularly black fathers.

black-father-child

One of the worst things we did as a country, both through our policies and culture, is sell the notion that dads don’t matter. Even the simple act of mentioning the importance of fathers, and marriage, in debates about policies aimed at helping low-income families is often met with strong resistance by some progressives. The reason marriage is such an important part of this conversation is because it is the single most important structural enabler for father involvement. A man who has made a lifelong commitment to one woman is in a much better position–socially, emotionally, and financially–to commit to the rearing of the children they have together. That doesn’t mean that married men are perfect dads or that divorce doesn’t lead to family disruption. Talking about the importance of men and marriage also doesn’t mean you have to demean single mothers or disparage alternative familial arrangements. Embracing a more holistic model of fatherhood–one that moves beyond seeing dad as mainly a paycheck–is good for everyone involved.

 

 

 

 

Thursday

11

June 2015

0

COMMENTS

#TBT – 5 Things Every Woman Should Know Before She Gets Married

Written by , Posted in Relationships

 

Based on a Black and Married with Kids (BMWK) article from 2014.

Married

 

My last article highlighted five things I thought every man should know before getting married. I think it’s important for men to direct most of their relationship advice to other men because we don’t have many outlets to learn about what it takes to have healthy relationships. I also know it takes two to create a successful marriage so I wanted to make a similar list for women. Here are five things I think every woman should know before saying “I do”:

1. You can live a fulfilled life without getting married

I think it’s important to start here because sometimes people talk about women and marriage as if a woman’s life is incomplete or unfulfilled if she doesn’t get married. I don’t agree with that line of thinking. Some women have no desire to get married and others may believe they haven’t found the right person. Either way, it is possible to have companionship, experience love, and find fulfillment without a husband. In fact, an extended period of singleness can help you in your process of self-discovery. Another reason to use this as a starting point is because a woman who feels she must get married at all costs might be more prone to making choices that are motivated by fear and desperation or compromising her standards–especially as she ages and feels like the pool of marriageable men is dwindling. We often say that something is better than nothing but linking yourself to the wrong person can be worse than not being linked to anyone at all.

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